I recently attended a baby shower for a dear friend. This friend was 3 weeks from her due date and looked wonderful....but I believe all pregnant women look wonderful as long as they are smiling:) Not that frowning is unacceptable...it just makes for a better look for anyone...pregnant or not.
So anyway....about 75% of the discussion at the baby shower was about how much weight everyone gained while they were pregnant and how the pregnant lady looked so beautiful and was carrying her weight so well. Then while we were eating the talk was about how we shouldn't eat this or that. How getting seconds was supposed to be forbidden but how we wanted it anyway which led to guilt for sure. Oh and how much exercise it would take to burn off the extra helping. It made me wonder why do women have to beat themselves up when they get together. There were some who didn't participate in this kind of talk (which i try very hard not to do....but maybe I did so I won't say I didn't) . I spent too many years making excuses for the food I was eating....I will have to exercise extra tomorrow....or....I must skip a meal tomorrow.....or....can't eat this in front of those women because it is somehow socially unacceptable....or....i am going to be so bloated tomorrow....or....blah, blah, blah, blah! And I thought it was hiliarious when 2 days later I saw one of the friends who was at the baby shower at the gym. We were both taking the same group fitness class. She said "we have to work off that cheesecake we ate!" and then she chuckled. Wow....I don't think she has been worried about that cheesecake all weekend so i thought it was odd that she brought that up...and it took me a minute to even figure out what she was talking about.
I guess we all have friends who talk about food as if it will make us a fat slob or who pick at their bodies. I find this very emotionally taxing to listen to ...probably because of my past experience with an eating disorder. I try to stear the conversation away from this talk whenever I am around it. I also cringe when I hear someone talk about their weight-loss and hear others praise that person and tell them how "wonderful" they look. I hardly ever do this because what do you say to them if they gain the weight back?
So after the shower- while we were cleaning up I asked why we have to do this when we get together. I said we should make a commitment NOT to participate in this talk the next time it happens. So...who's with me??
4 comments:
What a boring time when it should have been joyful. It's good that you suggested not to do that anymore. I didn't forgive myself for the way my body looked until I was 50. Now, I try to watch my weight, going up or down, and still can eat some (or all!) of Tall Cake. They (Rudy Tuesday) took away the tall glass, but the cake and ice cream are just as good. Yum, yum and YUM!
good for you Granny! The shower was not all about weight and image....but it was too much for me!
And I remember when we went to Ruby Tuesday specifically to get the Tall Cake and they had done away with it! I was flab.ber.gasted and took out my frustration on that poor waitress. Why didnt' they consult us about it first!
Was I one of those talkers? I'm sure I don't even realize it! And yes, I'm one of those who gained some back! But, I just want to be healthy for my children, instead of obsessed on weight!
Kelly- we all do it when we are together. Our parents probably did it our girls will probably do it...but maybe not as much as if we stop it?? :) I have gained back weight also but just want to be healthy like you! Life is too short isn't it!! Society plays a HUGE role in how we view ourselves that is why we really have to make an effort to watch how we talk about ourself verbally and when we look in the mirror! just my opinion though! i love ya Kelly!
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